How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman

Overview

Have you ever wondered how to make an excellent first impression and win people's favor in seconds? If yes, the book "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" by Nicholas Boothman is a must-read. The book is about mastering the art of communication and body language to create a positive and lasting impression quickly. The author provides practical advice, tools, and techniques that can help you improve your communication skills, develop rapport, and create meaningful connections with people in just 90 seconds. The book is a treasure trove of insights, and it is suitable for anyone looking to improve their communication skills, from salespeople to job seekers, to everyday individuals looking to connect with people more effectively.

Who's it for

If you want to learn effective communication techniques and impact people around you positively, this book is definitely for you. "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" is a valuable resource for anyone who wants to improve their interpersonal skills, build rapport with others, and create lasting connections. It's an excellent read for people in sales, marketing, public relations, customer service, and any other profession that involves interacting with people. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, this book provides practical tips and techniques that anybody can apply to build positive relationships with people.

Key Takeaways

Part 1 - First Connect

Chapter 1: People Power - The Benefits of Connecting,Why Likability Works,Why 90 seconds?

In this chapter, the author talks about the concept of likability and its power in connecting people. The author argues that likability is a crucial component of human interaction and that developing this skill can lead to a more prosperous and fulfilling life. First, the author provides a scientific perspective, citing research that supports the idea that likeable people are more successful in their personal and professional lives. Next, the author introduces the 90-second rule, which suggests that people form lasting impressions of others within the first 90 seconds of meeting them. He explains that during this time, people rely heavily on nonverbal communication, such as body language and tone of voice, to determine if they like someone. Therefore, by consciously controlling our nonverbal cues, we can increase our likability and make more meaningful connections with others.

Making a connection with others is essential for personal and professional success.

People are likelier to work with, hire, and promote people they like.

It only takes 90 seconds to make a positive and lasting impression on someone.

Nonverbal communication, such as facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language, plays a crucial role in forming connections.

Building likability involves focusing on the other person, showing interest and enthusiasm, and creating a comfortable environment for conversation.

Chapter 2 : First Impressions - The Meeting,Establishing Rapport, Communicating, Whats Coming up ?

In this chapter, the author discusses the importance of first impressions when meeting someone new. The author emphasizes that it only takes seven seconds to make a first impression and gives practical advice on making a positive one. In addition, the author stresses the importance of establishing rapport with the other person and providing good communication. Finally, the chapter discusses the upcoming techniques that readers will learn in subsequent chapters.

First impressions are crucial and often made within the first 90 seconds of meeting someone.

Establishing rapport with the person you're meeting is essential to create a connection and making them feel comfortable.

Communication is critical, and body language plays a significant role in conveying your message effectively.

Mirroring or matching the other person's body language, tone of voice, and pace can help establish rapport quickly.

The agenda for the meeting should be set early on to avoid any confusion, and the person should know what to expect next.

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Part 2 - The 90 seconds Land Of Rapport

Chapter 3 : There is Something About the Person I really Liked - Natural Rapport,Rapport by Chance, Rapport by Design

In this chapter, the author discusses the concept of rapport and its importance in creating connections with others. The author explains the difference between natural rapport that occurs effortlessly and rapport created intentionally through specific actions. The chapter focuses on building rapport through observation, listening, and adapting to the other person's communication style to create a sense of similarity and trust. The author also emphasizes the importance of nonverbal communication in establishing rapport and making a positive first impression.

Somebody can build Natural rapport through shared interests, hobbies, and backgrounds.

Rapport by chance is created through shared experiences and situations.

Rapport by design involves intentional efforts to establish commonalities with the other person, such as mirroring body language, finding common ground, and using positive language.

Building rapport is essential to likability and can help establish trust and create meaningful connections with others.

Chapter 4 : Attitude is Everything - A Really Useful Attitude,A Really Useless Attitude,Its Your Choice

In this chapter, the author emphasizes the significance of attitude in establishing likability. The author distinguishes between a helpful attitude, characterized by positive energy and enthusiasm, and a useless attitude, marked by negativity and cynicism. The author argues that a positive attitude can make a huge difference in establishing rapport with others and creating a positive impression. He also provides practical tips for cultivating a helpful attitude, such as focusing on what you can control, learning to let go of negative emotions, and adopting a growth mindset. The chapter underscores the importance of cultivating a positive and constructive attitude to make a lasting and favorable impression on others.

Our attitude is crucial in determining how likeable we are to others.

A positive and open attitude helps build connections and establish rapport with others.

Negative attitudes such as cynicism, pessimism, and defensiveness can turn people off and make it difficult to establish connections.

It is essential to choose a positive attitude and work on changing negative thought patterns to improve likability.

Chapter 5 - Actions Do Speak Louder Than Words - Body Language, Congruity, Being yourself

In this chapter, the author focuses on how actions speak louder than words in building likability. The author explains the importance of body language and congruity, or the alignment between verbal and nonverbal communication, in building rapport with others. He also emphasizes the importance of being yourself and using your unique qualities to establish a connection with others. Through various examples and exercises, the chapter provides practical tips for improving one's body language and building a positive first impression.

Body language is crucial in building rapport with someone.

The three keys to body language are openness, attention, and energy.

Congruity, or the match between verbal and nonverbal communication, establishes trust and likability.

Being yourself and allowing your personality to shine through is essential to genuinely connecting with others.

Chapter 6:People like People Themselves - Natural Synchrony,The Art of Synchronizing

In this chapter, the author explains the concept of natural synchrony and how somebody can use it to connect with people. He emphasizes the importance of mirroring body language and speech patterns to create a sense of similarity between yourself and the other person. The author provides practical tips and exercises for developing synchrony, including observing the other person's behavior and adjusting your own to match it. He also discusses the risks of overdoing synchrony and losing authenticity and offers suggestions for maintaining balance. Overall, this chapter emphasizes the power of creating a sense of familiarity and shared experience in building likability and rapport with others.

People like others who are similar to themselves. It includes identical interests, backgrounds, body language, and communication styles.

Natural synchrony occurs when people unconsciously synchronize their body language and speech patterns. It can help establish rapport and likability.

Synchronizing involves consciously mirroring the other person's body language and speech patterns to build rapport and establish a connection.

It's important to be subtle when synchronizing, as overdoing it can come across as insincere or creepy.

Practice is key to mastering the art of synchronizing. Start by observing the body language and speech patterns of others and then try to mirror them in conversation subtly.

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Part 3 - The Secrets OF Communication

Chapter 7 : Its Not All Talk, Its Listening Too - Stop Talking & Start Asking,Active Listening, Give & Take

In this chapter, the author emphasizes the importance of listening in building connections. He emphasizes the need to stop talking and start asking questions and the value of active listening. The author also stresses the importance of give and take in conversations, where both parties should feel comfortable sharing and contributing equally. Finally, the chapter highlights the significance of listening for building rapport with others.

Stop talking and start asking: People like to talk about themselves and feel important. Therefore, asking questions can make people feel valued.

Active Listening: This technique is used to convey to the other person that you are actively paying attention to what they are saying.

Give and Take: A conversation is about sharing, and balancing between talking and listening is essential. Giving and taking create an environment of mutual respect and understanding.

Chapter 8 : Making Sense of our Senses - Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic, Tuning into Sensory Preferences

In this chapter, the author discusses the importance of understanding the sensory preferences of individuals to establish better connections with them. He explains that people typically have a dominant sense, whether visual, auditory or kinesthetic, that they rely on more than others to process information. Therefore, by identifying an individual's prevailing sense, you can adjust your communication style to resonate with them better. The author also stresses the importance of being aware of your sensory preferences and how they may affect your interactions. Overall, this chapter emphasizes the importance of paying attention to nonverbal cues and adapting your communication style to match the sensory preferences of others.

We all have different sensory preferences, meaning we process information through one of three channels: visual, auditory, or kinesthetic.

By tuning into someone's sensory preferences, you can establish rapport more quickly and communicate more effectively with them.

Visual people use words and phrases related to seeing, such as "I see what you mean." Auditory people use terms like "That sounds good to me," and kinesthetic people use phrases like "I get the feeling that..."

You can pick up on someone's sensory preferences by observing their language patterns, tone of voice, and body language.

Once you've identified someone's sensory preference, you can tailor your communication style to match theirs and build a stronger connection.

Chapter 9 - Spotting Sensory Preferences - Sensory Preference Profiles, Verbal cues,Eyes cues, The Big Picture

The author discusses spotting people's sensory preferences in this chapter by examining verbal and eye cues. By understanding someone's preferred sensory mode, visual, auditory, or kinesthetic, we can better communicate with them and establish a deeper connection. In addition, the chapter provides tips on how to identify and decode sensory preference profiles, including paying attention to critical phrases and specific body language cues.

Sensory preference profiles are crucial to understanding and catering to an individual's preferred way of processing information.

Verbal cues can provide insight into an individual's sensory preference, such as using phrases like "I see" or "I hear."

Eye cues can also provide information about sensory preference, with visual people typically looking up and to the right, auditory people looking to the sides, and kinesthetic people looking down and to the left.

It's essential to look at the big picture and not rely solely on one aspect to determine an individual's sensory preference.

Chapter 10 - Putting it all Together - Where Do I Start, Assuming Rapport,A Modern Day Parable

In this chapter, the author summarizes the key concepts and strategies discussed throughout the book and guides how to implement them. For example, the chapter emphasizes the importance of assuming rapport and using the tools and techniques learned in previous chapters to establish connections quickly and effectively. The author also presents a modern-day parable to illustrate how to put these ideas into practice in a real-life situation. This chapter is a helpful conclusion to the book, providing readers with a clear and concise summary of the key takeaways and actionable advice to apply these strategies in their daily lives.

To put everything together, start by assuming rapport and believing you have already connected with the other person. This mindset will help you establish a comfortable atmosphere and make the other person feel at ease.

Remember that building rapport is a continuous process that requires time and effort. It's not a one-time thing.

Use the tools and techniques discussed in the book, such as active listening, sensory preference profiling, and body language, to build and maintain rapport with others.

Remember that people are likelier to do business with someone they like and trust, so building rapport is essential for successful relationships and communication.

A modern-day parable highlights the importance of assuming rapport and being genuine in your interactions with others. It shows how small gestures can make a significant difference in building rapport and creating a positive impression.

Closing Thoughts

In conclusion, "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" by Nicholas Boothman is an insightful guide to developing meaningful connections with people quickly and efficiently. The book emphasizes the importance of first impressions, establishing natural rapport, and being aware of sensory preferences. The tips and techniques in this book are practical, easy to understand, and applied in various contexts, including personal and professional settings. By incorporating the strategies discussed in this book, readers can develop stronger interpersonal relationships, communicate more effectively, and make a lasting positive impression on those they meet. Overall, "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" is a highly recommended read for anyone looking to improve their communication and connection-building skills.

I hope you enjoyed this summary of "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" by Nicholas Boothman. It is important to note that this summary is not intended to replace the original text, as the book provides more in-depth insights and valuable lessons. However, I hope this summary has given you a glimpse into the book and its teachings. Thank you for taking the time to read this summary, and I look forward to sharing more summaries with you in the future.

Happy reading !!!